For two years, I did what I thought I was supposed to do. I posted “authentically” in various online spaces. I hosted a podcast. I wrote for other blogs. I did all of those things, and it was just … not me. Bits and pieces of it were. But the stuff that drained me was not balancing the stuff that invigorated me.
I am Democrat. You are Republican. Peace depends on me.
I am a woman, you are not; peace depends on me.
I am a Christian, you are not; peace depends on me.
In a recent Blue Bloods episode, Danny reveals a family pact the adults all made the day their children were born: We made the choice to bring you into the world. You didn't make the choice, we did. So a bargain was struck that day that you owe us nothing and we owe you everything.
He's right. We owe our children everything. …
Our Life Story is made up in fractions. However, since we forgot everything we learned in third grade math I think sometimes we get stuck and think that PART of our story is going to end up being our WHOLE story. But that's not the case. Basic math tells us that PARTS and WHOLES are very different, and that one piece does not define the whole pie.
We pray and hope and work for things that we want. We receive blessings and bad days and more blessings. Sometimes--once in a blue moon, as far as I've ever experienced--those blessings arrive *precisely* how I imagined they would. Most of the time those blessings are quite different from what I pictured. Sometimes that's okay. Sometimes I utter, "That's not what I meant," and I have to dig a little deeper to find the gratitude I know I should be feeling.
I don’t want to embrace it. I want this Comedy of Errors to stop. I want to tell the writers of whatever tricked-ya TV show I’ve landed myself in to stop writing, joke’s over, I’m tired, we can all go back to our regularly scheduled programming.
I think sometimes we miss the point of life and its struggles. We are not meant to be comfortable all the time. Great things were not done by comfortable people living comfortable lives. I think sometimes we're unwilling to put up with something that's uncomfortable because we aren't willing to look past our own short sightedness. I think we complain too much instead of hunkering down and realizing that this ain't nothin' but a phase.
I’m sorry. That’s the unfiltered and unchecked version of my initial response. What I meant to say was this: It’s not you, it’s me. It’s not you. It’s ME.
