26: Change
/Maybe, like me, you have a hard time recognizing when something needs to change.
We know that we’re restless and tired at the same time but we’re not sure why because we didn’t used to feel this way but nothing has changed…
We know that something feels off but we can’t put our finger on it.
We know that we need a break, but we’re not sure from what.
We know that we’re unhappy, but we look around at the people and the four walls holding us together and wonder what we’re unhappy about.
If you’re wondering how to recognize when something needs to change—and how to have the courage to change it—listen in here or read right below!
**What follows is most of episode 26: Change from the Praise Through It podcast. Listen here, or read on!
When I was somewhere in my teens, I read the following sentence in one of the 24 books in my favorite series. The sentence read: “If you fear change, leave it here.” The author, Robin Jones Gunn, had written it into the story by placing it on a tip jar at a small cafe. For twenty-plus years, that sentence has never left me. I love the play on words, and also - it seems to have been quite a comfort to me when my life wanted to pivot but I wouldn’t let it.
We’re talking about change today for two reasons.
The first is because I’ve needed to process what change is & how it occurs & why it’s so important & what our body does when our life changes. That’s been my last few months as I figure out some necessary changes to my daily life.
The second reason is a fruit of that figuring out - this podcast is going to change a little bit. There will be one more regular episode, two weeks from today. In June, July, and possibly August, there will be Praise Through It Together - a community extension where I bring on guests and they talk about their Praise Through It stories. After that, though, I’ll be publishing episodes only once a month for at least a short while. I’ll circle back around to why, but first, let’s talk in broad terms.
I used to say that I was afraid of change, but that wasn’t true. It can’t be true because I like to change furniture around from time to time, just for funsies. I just don’t like what change feels like in the middle. I think I talked about this in either the snow episode in January or the seasons episode in March: I love seasons, I love what they bring me. I do not--I repeat do not--love the in-between-ness. With the exception of the leaves changing color in the fall, I don’t like the process of the seasons changing, even when it’s going from winter to spring. I either want all the buds there, or none of them. I want all the leaves there, or none of them. I want all the sunshine or none of the sunshine, except really I always want all of the sunshine. I want warm or cold, none of this kinda one or the other.
I’m the same when it comes to life changes. I want the before or the after. I don’t want the messy middle. I think the only reason I enjoy home renovation shows is because I know that within a sixty-minute span I can see the before-and-after. There are a few shows that make you wait the entire season to see the entire renovation. That doesn’t work for me. It’s uncomfortable, sure. But also, it’s just plain annoying. I know what I want everything to look like when it’s settled. So can I please just have the superpower of bibbidi bobbidi boo, rags to riches, if you will, with the shake of a pretty wand while I’m wearing a fancy dress? I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
Now, I understand this isn’t all together healthy or realistic. It’s just who I am. It’s my natural instinct. I’ve had to learn to enjoy that bibbidi bobbidi boo. I’m not going to offer you a profound message about enjoying the journey. I am going to talk to you about the actual act of change and how we know it’s time for one.
When it’s time for movement from spot A to spot B.
The giving and taking of life that leaves us with or without, depending on the change.
The internal and external renovations.
Let’s talk about what that looks and feels like, because maybe, like me, you have a hard time recognizing when something needs to change.
On a large scale, we know why change is necessary. Right? Without change, we’d be stuck in infancy in all areas. We need to grow personally, in our relationships, in our careers, in our faith, in our personhood.
However - that growth and change is not always easy to recognize and place. We get stuck in our routines and before we know it, our mind, body and spirit are outgrowing those routines--but we don’t recognize it as outgrowing.
We know that we’re restless and tired at the same time but we’re not sure why because we didn’t used to feel this way but nothing has changed…
We know that something feels off but we can’t put our finger on it.
We know that we need a break, but we’re not sure from what.
We know that we’re unhappy, but we look around at the people and the four walls holding us together and wonder what we’re unhappy about.
Dare I say - that’s the outgrowing. I’m not saying we’ve outgrown our families or our lives; I’m saying there’s a piece in there that needs a change-up, a piece in there we’ve outgrown but we have yet to recognize it. We have to look for the thing behind the thing.
We can look at our children’s feet and see when they’ve outgrown their shoes. It’s not so easy when it comes to our work or our expression of faith, or even how we tend to our spouse, friends, or children. Our bodies know, though. Our bodies know we’re ready for a change before we do and it sends our brains messages of restlessness, fatigue, irritation, annoyance, frustration, claustrophobia. But because we’ve created all these very specific brain patterns around the way we live our lives, changing--creating new brain patterns--can be incredibly difficult and intimidating.
That’s what was happening with the work I do. Though still enjoyable and meaningful, it was not exactly right anymore. I could hear, feel, and see resentment, restlessness, frustration, and claustrophobia rising up within me, almost every day. I didn’t know what to change because I kept feeling like I had to stick with what I was doing until it fit the precise picture of success I had in my head. But no amount of breaks fixed how I was feeling, and when a break from a thing doesn’t revive what feels tired, then the thing might actually just be broken. Which means it either needs an overhaul, or it needs to be tossed out and something new needs to take its place in order for us all to stay sane and keep moving forward.
So in deciding what to change about my work, I had to look at a few things.
First, my conversations with God had to be open and honest. Every day. Lord, what do you want my work to look like? Show me and I’m game. I paid attention to three things:
What was bringing me life.
What was bringing me down.
What my long-terms goals were & what aspects of my work were bringing me closer to those goals.
Second, I had to check with my spouse because my work, or lack thereof, impacts him and our family. Are you okay if I shift from here to there? And I had to share my feelings about that. There were tears. And there were hugs. And my perception of what he was going to think about me stepping back and shifting was way uglier than the compassion and support he actually showed me.
Then, I had to actually change it up. I had to make the hard choice. Sometimes, making a change is harder when you’re not specifically accountable to anyone. I don’t have a boss. A lot of you do, but making a change can still be in your hands. We just have to do it. I learned from my daughter’s Magic Treehouse audiobook that Nike is the ancient Greek Goddess of Victory. Their slogan is Just Do It. I’m connecting some dots here and saying this: action moves us toward victory. The kind of victory that brings us contentment, peace, and joy.
When it’s time for your life to change, when you’ve outgrown a routine or a daily life habit, or a job, or a something, you’ll know it. You’ll pay attention to what your body is telling you. You’ll have some conversations with God about it. You’ll check with your people. And you’ll move. Some of it will be easy, some of it will be tough. You’ll grieve some. You’ll rejoice some. Mostly, you’ll move and you’ll grow and you’ll learn.
What’s true about change is it’s really hard. Even little daily ones, like expecting to do Thing A but then having to pivot to Thing B. That can be tough because of alllllll the expectations tied to that one Thing A.
What’s also true about change is that it’s constant. There will never be a time in your life where you can sit back and say, “Gosh, nothing at all has changed today.” That’s just not the human experience.
What’s also true about change is that God made life to include change on purpose. It is a gift that we can pivot. It is a gift that we can grow and change and evolve and learn and deepen our sense of faith and sense of selves.
This podcast is based on Philippians 4:8, right? Think about what is true. What is right. What is noble. What is excellent. What is praiseworthy. What is good.
Change is good. Change has great purpose in our lives. We just can’t be afraid to recognize it, and then change it.
What’s true about change is that the good kind has to come from the inside-out.
What’s right about change is it pushes us forward, closer and closer to the diamond God is refining out of the rough.
What’s noble about change is the maturity it forces upon us and within us.
What’s pure about change is how naturally it finds us.
What’s lovely about change is how much closer and deeper it can bring us in our faith.
What’s excellent about change is how richly it can color our lives.
What’s praiseworthy about change is the gift of knowing that when we give God free reign in our hearts and in our lives, we can be confident that the change is either from or permitted by Him, and He will carry us through.
James 1:17 says this: "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
So today…
May you notice from the inside-out when there is something in your life that needs some changing.
May you approach the change by way of approaching the throne of your Heavenly Father, asking Him where to go and how to get there.
May you feel inexplicable peace like the coziest blanket as you walk toward the change your life needs.
And may you know above all else that while your shifting shadows change with the light of day and the fall of night, the God above does not, and He is strong enough and present enough to carry you all the way through.
Show notes:
Robin Jones Gunn - Sierra Jensen series
Magic Tree House -- Hour of the Olympics
James 1:17
Nike
Seasons episode of Praise Through It
Snow episode of Praise Through It (called Heart Pivots)
Become part of my FRIDAY CREW - quick, actionable ADULTING tips, usually using the framework of the Enneagram. I promise interesting. I promise a GIF. I promise helpful. Right here or right down below.
Sign up for Monday Morning Blessings: soulful meditations to start your week
