Knowing your Enneagram 5
In our Friday Crew, we learned a little something about Enneagram 5s.
The 5 is the natural observer because she wants to know things.
There are two main pillars for the Enneagram 5: capability & competency. One without the other is a no-go for an Enneagram 5.
They gain competence by learning.
They retain capability by conserving energy.
They’re the ones who ask Why? more than a toddler. And it sounds judgmental, but really: it’s curiosity.
The ones who teach us that learning matters.
The ones who remind us boundaries have doors named ENTER & EXIT.
The ones who teach us the value of objectivity.
The ones who can observe like a hawk but miss the fish because they stayed in their head so long.
The one who will rarely have a linear answer to the question, “How are you feeling?” or “What are you thinking?”
The Enneagram 5 has spent her life trying to understand the world. The 5 wants to know things while also deciding how and why they dispense what they know. Energy conservation is essential to their wellbeing. Normally, that’s healthy. A great balance for, say, Enneagram 7s, 8s, and 3s. Also, that energy conservation can come off as aloofness & disinterest, which can be pretty hurtful to the 5s’ closest people. Without some good heart work, that doesn’t change.
The Enneagram 5 is in the Head Triad.
These folks THINK before they feel or do.
The Enneagram 5 observes the world with a fine-toothed comb under a microscope, and they take in just about every bit of information they’re presented with. They have a difficult time accessing feelings and action because they get pretty stuck in their owns heads. They’ll watch all the YouTube videos and then maybe go ahead with whatever they just learned. The extra knowledge is no extra weight.
That’s the Head Triad. Learning is never wasted, whether action comes from it or not. Ask the knitting video camped out in my browser,
They don’t like to be needy; they prefer to take care of themselves & have others take care of themselves because being needy would mean being incapable and being incapable would mean being incompetent. And then, they’re done with life for awhile.
Why is that?
Motivations:
Core Fear: being depleted of energy, not knowing what to do
Core Desire: To be capable & competent
Core weakness: avarice — I have to be careful with how I use what I’ve got, because what if I run out?
Core longing: "Your needs are not a problem."
It all comes back to being competent & capable.
Every Enneagram type has two wings, which are the adjacent numbers. For the 5, that’s the 4 and the 6.
Wings act like personality crutches; when we’re leaning out of our dominant type, we lean into one of two wings - usually one more strongly than the other, but once in a great while we have a steady equilibrium of leaning on both wings an equal amount. They add to the flavor of our personality, like salt & pepper or sugar & spice, depending on how we use it.
5w4 - 5 with a 4 wing - is nicknamed The Iconoclast. This personality combo leans into their headspace while bridging to their creative side. More withdrawn, eccentric. They tend to detach from others, especially when struggling. Creative ingenuity & intellect mix well together.
5w6 - 5 with a 6 wing - is nicknamed The Problem Solver. Their desire to learn mixed with their desire for preparedness makes this personality type a great problem solver. The 5’s tendency to withdraw from people mixed with the 6’s desire to attach to relationships can cause quite the tension.
Side bar: The difference between a 5w4 and a 4w5 is the dominant type, because the dominant type determines the main motivation. The 5w4 predominantly pursues knowledge; the 4w5 predominantly pursues authenticity. So having the same #s in a wing combo (1w2 & 2w1 or 3w2 & 2w3, and so on), does not mean the personalities are expressed in the same way.
Every Enneagram type has a stress arrow & a security arrow; where we go when we’re our messy selves & where we go when we’re our comfortable (sometimes lazy) selves.
In average to heavy stress, 5s go to average-to-unhealthy traits of the Enneagram 7: indulging, being reckless, resisting pain & boredom, even if it will help them grow or change something for the better.
In blind-spot security (the lazy, I’ve-always-been-this-way self), 5s go to average-to-unhealthy traits of the Enneagram 8: saying what they’re thinking without a filter, resisting vulnerability.
The good news is — These stress & security arrows tell us when we’re not living as our best selves.
In growth, 5s go to average-to-healthy traits of the Enneagram 8: confident in their knowledge & skills, decisive, energetic.
In integration, 5s go to average-to-healthy traits of the Enneagram 7: indulge with balance, more ready to have fun, access relational feelings more easily.
Strengths: Objective, observant, interested, interesting, witty, knowledgeable, reliable.
Struggles: coming out of their heads, warmth, patience, generosity of time & talents.
The 5 is considered a curious cat because they have a fascination with knowing how the world works, both in hard and soft ways. That is a special, necessary thing. We just want to make sure 5s know that ‘I don’t know’ is not a fatal phrase.
Does this sound like you? Or does it sound like someone you know?
Get the Typing Guide right here or in the form below. Figuring out your Enneagram number is a great way to start figuring out why you say, do & think the way you do. It’s a great way to learn that you’re not weird, you’re just you. And we need you.
Still looking for more? Shoot me an email & we can talk about coaching!