I’ve heard more than one Christian say that they refuse to pray for patience because they think that by asking for it, it would be given to them (Ask, and it will be given you, Matthew 7:7), but if it is given to them, then their patience would have been tried in the first place and they don’t want to deal with that.
I don’t know how you feel about that, maybe you’ve done that before. I actually think that’s us trying to control the spirit world a little more than we’re capable of doing. What asking does, in my opinion and in my experience, is remind me of my limited human capacity. In an earthly sense, I can only do what I can do. I come in juuuust under 5 feet tall, so I ask for things on the top shelf all the time. I mean, sometimes I climb up on the counter or step on the bottom shelf or do the jump-and-grab, but sometimes I ask the nearest person for some assistance. Other times, I’m aware that I’m just one human and I can’t do it all by myself.
In a spiritual sense, asking reminds me that on my own, I’m not always compassionate or patient or fully present in the moment. We love because God first loved us. He provides that capacity. So when I ask for it (patience, compassion, presence, a clear mind, wisdom, discernment), I am reminding myself of my dependence on my creator.
Lent is a season that is supposed to remind us of our dependence on God. Most of us, according to some loose news articles I found and my own experience of Lent over 23 years, give up some form of sweets, alcohol, or social media. The idea is that we give up THE THING and in the moments when it’s most difficult for us to stay away from said thing, we pray. We ask for strength, energy, capacity to walk away.
We can also ask deeper questions, things like What can I learn from this? or Why is this so hard for me to stay away from? Maybe something new will come out of it; maybe it’ll broaden and deepen your relationship with God; maybe it’ll deepen your compassion for yourself as you learn more of how you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Asking God for something puts our hearts in a place of hope. It puts our souls in the right hands. It sets our minds up for believing the best of a situation. Whether it’s the cookies on the top shelf of the benign biopsy, asking sets our hearts to be open, to receive love and grace and all the good things.
Not asking puts us in the position of that unicorn. Flat on our faces, unable to get up or change something on our own, but destined to stay there forever unless we are willing to ask for something — help, a change of position, a hug, anything. [Side note: the unicorn actually fell like that this morning…] When we refuse to ask God for what we want or need because we think we’ll either get something we don’t want or we won’t get exactly what we want, we close our hearts to love, grace, and all those good things.
Asking God for something doesn’t mean we get everything we ask for. Trust me, I’ve tried. So have you. It does mean that we are making ourselves humble and vulnerable to our Creator. We are softening our hearts and being okay not having all the control. We are opening the lines of communication, which is pretty important if we want a relationship.
Go ahead. Ask. Ask for something you’re afraid of asking for. Ask for something you’re excited to ask for. The worst that could happen is a no. The best that could happen is getting it all and then some. Sounds like a risk worth taking to me.
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