Day 24: There’s Hope in Forgiveness
/Seeing their faith He said, Friend, your sins are forgiven.” —Luke 5:20
When I think of forgiveness I picture keeping someone in the corner for what I perceive as an offense. “You hurt me. Stay there until I think you’ve served your time.” Because that’s kind of what we do, right?
My family and I are watching season 8 of Kid’s Baking Championship (have I ever mentioned how grateful I am for On Demand??). One of the kids, Reggie, has never forgiven llamas and alpacas because when he was a young child one spit at him. So for the Llama Drama episode when the kids had to make llama cupcakes, he was none too pleased. It didn’t impact the quality of his work but it definitely tripped him up and he wasn’t happy at any point during the challenge.
That’s the thing about forgiveness. We can go about our daily work and it can seem like the unforgiveness isn’t touching us at all. We still have good relationships here and there, we’re doing our work in excellence because we’re putting everything in a box. Well, the unforgiveness box leaks. It’s a small drip that, if not tended to when it’s small, turns into a massive issue that makes a mess of everything.
I would argue that forgiveness is one of the hardest tenets of being human, for so many reasons. One, there are so many avenues that we have to practice it in order to be empty of unforgiveness: our marriage, our parenting, our friendships, our parent/child relationships to start. Then think about outside your direct circle: the people who didn’t vote like you and you feel like they’re ruining our country; the entertainer who offends you with his/her work; the pastors who have “fallen from grace” that make a mockery of the faith; historical acts and processes perpetuated by individuals and communities that have caused (and continue to cause) deep hurt (i.e., systemically racist policies and procedures, or covered-up sexual abuse and assault). To really be rid of unforgiveness in our hearts, we have to cast our nets really, really wide.
And we’re often on our own as we do work to practice the forgiveness. The entertainer and policy-maker and voter — they don’t really care that they’ve offended you. Your spouse and children and parents sometimes don’t care if they’ve upset you; sometimes they don’t even know because they don’t see it and you don’t share it. Your friends don’t always care and they don’t always see it, either. So we’re on our own. We have this hurt burrowing down like a bunny into her hole underground and a lot of times we’re all alone in repairing it.
But there’s hope. Because if the creator of the universe can forgive all that we do, if the One who breathed us into being can send His son to earth and can take our nastiness, our bitterness, our failures, our disobedience, our mistakes, and say, “Friend, your sins are forgiven,” well, then, there’s hope.
There’s hope for us that we don’t have to keep people in the corner. All that really does is keep us there in that same space, making sure they stay in that corner. We’re not free to go anywhere or do anything that brings us abundant life when we are making sure the person who hurt us stays put in that spot of unforgiveness.
Your hurt matters to God; I’ve said that many times before. And being hurt over and over by the same person doesn’t mean that we get back up and ask for round 37. Boundaries are healthy. Protecting your heart and yourself are healthy practices. Sometimes forgiveness is a moment-by-moment decision. Sometimes you’ll forgive someone and then something happens and all the old feelings of unforgiveness come back and you’ll have to choose again (and again and again and again).
But there’s hope. There’s hope that if we’re forgiven, others can be too. There’s hope that when we feel worn out from spinning our wheels of unforgiveness, we can draw energy from the never-ending stream of living water (John 7:38). There’s hope that our hearts won’t be wilted forever, because Jesus is the redeemer & restorer of all things, including your tired, worn-out heart (John 11:25).
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Tell me about you: what’s the hardest part of forgiveness? Have you ever been forgiven for something and that forgiveness blew you away or in changed you in some way?
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