James 1:19-20
My dearly loved brothers, understand this:
Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger,
for a man’s anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.
Usually we hear this verse and we’re given a lesson in how to relate to others. As I meditated on it, though, I thought about turning the lesson back on ourselves. I’ve written the last several days about our outward actions, but what about our inward ones? What about how we speak to ourselves? Listen to ourselves? Treat ourselves?
Have you ever had your hair cut by two different professionals, each in a very different stage in his/her career? I had my hair cut for almost 10 years by a woman in her 40s/50s. She was confident, snipped away like she was being timed on a talent show, and clearly said to herself, I know what I’m doing. Then I had my hair cut by a lovely woman in her early 20s. She was hesitant, quiet, and needed some encouraged prodding in order to finish the job. I could practically hear her telling herself: Don’tmessupDon’tmessupDon’tmessup.
She didn’t mess up; it looked great! I’ll be going back and bringing my daughter. But her timidity and lack of confidence in herself, likely fueled by untruths she was telling herself as she worked, showed. And it broke my heart a little. It reminded me of what my friend Cindy taught me: when you’re in your 20s, you walk into a room wondering if anyone will like you; when you’re in your 30s you walk into a room wondering who will like you; and when you’re in your 40s (and above) you walk into a room wondering if you’ll like anyone.
But verse 20 doesn’t put an age on the adage that a man’s anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness. That means that if we spend precious energy on shaming ourselves (being angry with ourselves), overthinking something we said or did (working toward being angry with ourselves by overthinking every little move), and then overtly being angry with ourselves for missed opportunities or overstayed welcomes, we can’t be confident in who we are and in where God has called us to be and in what God has called us to do.
So today, I hope we can practice going a little easier on ourselves. Let’s not be so nit-picky with ourselves. Let’s be quick to listen to our hearts, our minds, and our bodies and what they need. Let’s be quick to listen to the voice of Jesus as he tells us who we are and who he’s making us into. Let’s be slow to get angry with our imperfections. Remember what my 5-year-old said when she and I were having a talk (you know what I mean): Nobody is perfect. Let’s not pretend to be and let’s not get angry with ourselves for something we literally cannot be.
I’ve touched on this a few times in these devotions, but we so often forget to look in the mirror when we consider that we’re all made in God’s image. I’m a Christian that definitely believes in self-love because God loves me! If God loves me, why can’t I love me? If the creator of the universe who made everything and knows everything and sees e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. still holds me as his daughter and says I love you, why can’t I feel that way about myself? Well, I can. And I do! I’m happy with me. I’ve worked hard for it, and part of that hard work is this:
Slow down. Silence the shame and anger because it’s definitely not from God. Be nice to yourself. Listen to the voice of Jesus tell you how loved you are. And let God do his wonderful work in you.
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Tell me about you: what would it do in your life if you silenced all those voices of shame and anger that you direct at yourself, and instead you listened to the voice of Jesus tell you how fearfully and wonderfully made you are?
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