In Friday Crew, we talked about how different personality types mark the seasons of their lives differently.
I used to jam out to Rent’s Seasons of Love in HS on a very regular basis. You know the one I mean?
Five hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes
Five hundred, twenty five thousand moments so dear
Five hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets
In midnights, in cups of coffee
In inches, in miles
In laughter, in strife
In five hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in a life?
I love what the asks: how will I measure my life? How will I measure my seasons?
A great question.
I’ll share a personal answer: As an Enneagram 5, I have measured my seasons of motherhood based on how much energy I’ve had for each one. Certain seasons have drained me more than others. My husband, an Enneagram 7, measures seasons of parenthood based on how much fun they are.
Why should we pay attention to these answers?
1. So we understand more about who we are & what matters to us.
2. So we give grace & understanding to others as they express who they are & what matters to them.
Chances are you haven't sat back in your hammock and contemplated how you've marked your seasons. Yet, it's a clue into the deepest parts of you, like breadcrumbs along your journey that help you know where you've been & where you're going.
So now is your chance, hammock or no hammock.
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Enneagram 1:
Motivation: Being good
Natural question: Why aren’t I good enough?
Might mark seasons by: Events & experiences that caused shame, or ones that brought about feelings rightness & righteousness.
Change your language: I might have made a poor choice, but nothing is irredeemable.
Enneagram 2:
Motivation: Being helpful in order to be appreciated & loved
Natural question: Why am I always rejected?
Might mark seasons by: Events & experiences that caused feelings of rejection—or the opposite, or ones when he/she/they felt the most helpful & useful to his/her/their community.
Change your language: I might have been rejected by that person, but I am likeable, loveable, liked, and loved.
Enneagram3:
Motivation: Earning/achieving success, status & respect
Natural question: Why can’t I ever do enough?
Might mark seasons by: Achievements, or events & experiences that caused him/her/them to feel stupid.
Change your language: I might not have achieved A or B, but I am more than my accomplishments.
Enneagram 4:
Motivation: Authenticity, being accepted for their authentic selves
Natural question: Why doesn’t anyone understand me?
Might mark seasons by: Events & experiences that made them feel free to be exactly who they want to be in that moment/at that time, or ones that made them feel less-than for having unique interests.
Change your language: I might have unique interests, but that doesn’t make me unreasonably unique.
Enneagram 5:
Motivation: To be competent & capable.
Natural question: Why can’t I be smarter than this?
Might mark seasons by: Events & experiences that made them feel on top of their game, or ones that drained their energy.
Change your language: I may not have known what I know now, but I couldn’t have known what I know now until I learned it.
Enneagram 6:
Motivation: To be safe & secure, and to create an environment of safety & security.
Natural question: Why can’t I trust anyone or anything?
Might mark seasons by: Events & experiences where a trusted, absolute authority made them feel safe—or the opposite, or a time when they relied on their gut instinct, and it worked.
Change your language: I can keep practicing & testing my reliance on my gut instinct, and in time I will learn who & what I can trust—to include myself.
Enneagram 7:
Motivation: Avoiding pain & boredom.
Natural question: Why can’t I just be free & have fun?
Might mark seasons by: Events & experiences that felt limiting, or ones that felt freeing & fun.
Change your language: I can do what I have to do and then I’ll be able to do what I want to do.
Enneagram 8:
Motivation: Avoid powerlessness, impose justice.
Natural question: Why can’t people just do the just & right & fair thing?
Might mark seasons by: Events & experiences that drew on the weakness of themselves or others, or ones that imposed justice on a specific area of the human experience.
Change your language: Humans are imperfect and flawed, which makes this unfair; my advocacy for the pursuit of justice is not for nothing.
Enneagram 9:
Motivation: Making & keeping the peace.
Natural question: Why can’t everything be calm, just for a minute?
Might mark seasons by: Events & experiences where other people’s reactions & personalities made them want to blend in, or ones that brought about feelings they had thus far not met or dealt with.
Change your language: This may feel overwhelming, but it won’t be forever.
Get the Typing Guide right here or in the form below. Figuring out your Enneagram number is a great way to start figuring out why you say, do & think the way you do. It’s a great way to learn that you’re not weird, you’re just you. And we need you.
Still looking for more? Shoot me an email & we can talk about coaching!