Knowing your 1s
Knowing your Enneagram 1
In our Friday Crew, we learned a little something about Enneagram 1s.
The 1 is the person who will tell you how to boil water more efficiently.
They’re the ones who will be the judge & critic in your life because they’re the judge & critic in their own ear.
Enneagram 1s.
The ones who teach us how to be orderly.
The ones who remind us that it’s not such an antiquated idea to wear your Sunday best.
The ones who teach us to do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.
The ones who sound like a judgment-peddling cynic, when really they’re just trying to quiet their constant inner critic.
The one who says, "It would be better if you did it this way," or the one to whom you say: “That’s quite a judgment there.”
The Enneagram 1 has spent her life hearing from her inner critic. She judges and berates on the outside because that’s what her experience is on the inside. Without some good heart work, that doesn’t change.
The Enneagram 1 is in the Gut Triad.
These folks DO before they think or feel.
The Enneagram 1 typically knows exactly where they stand on any given issue; their convictions are often rock solid. So when a decision is on the horizon or in their face, they don’t hesitate to make it because the foundation of the decision has already been decided. They’re just walking their next step.
For example:
“Do you want Chinese or Italian for dinner?” Vietnamese.
”Do you need anything at the grocery store?” I have a list but I’ll go later.
”Do know you if you’ll be homeschooling your daughter?” There’s a charter school she’ll likely be going to. [Even if it’s a lottery system, 1s depend heavily on their gut instinct. So if their gut says THIS SCHOOL, then everything possible will be done so the kids go to THIS SCHOOL.]
”What do you think about [X social policy] being put into law?” Here’s why this is a horrible idea. 1. …
See the Gut Triad there? They decide quickly because their moral compass is at the forefront, all. the. time.
They have a hard time getting into their feelings.
They stand quite firm on what they might think about a situation.
They will push for their way, whether passively or aggressively or a mix depends on the health of the person & the situation.
Why do they do that?
Motivations:
Core Fear: being bad (unclean, impure), being unredeemable, being corruptible
Core Desire: being accurate and right, being good (virtuous), being morally clean
Core weakness: resentment for all the ways people and the world are not perfect
Core longing: "You are good." [NOT ‘good enough’ - simply: good. pure. right.]
It all comes back to goodness & purity, from the inside and out. In big and small ways, everything Enneagram 1s want is for all the carpets and furniture and rooms and clothes and morals and people to be clean and perfect. Often, the Enneagram 1 believes they have the answer as to how everything and everyone can achieve such perfection.
Every Enneagram type has two wings, which are the adjacent numbers. For the 1, that’s the 9 and the 2.
Wings act like personality crutches; when we’re leaning out of our dominant type, we lean into one of two wings - usually one more strongly than the other, but once in a great while we have a steady equilibrium of leaning on both wings an equal amount. They add to the flavor of our personality, like salt & pepper or sugar & spice, depending on how we use it.
1w9 - 1 with a 9 wing - is nicknamed The Idealist: A strong desire for rightness mixed with a strong desire for harmony, these folks believe the world could be idyllic, if only… Often gentle, soft, generous and possibly more judgmental since they “see” the ideal.
1w2 - 1 with a 2 wing - is nicknamed The Advocate: the perfectionist mixed with the helper produces a relationally warm individual, someone who is helpful, social, vocal, willing to get into the nitty gritty to solve the wrongs they want to make right.
Every Enneagram type has a stress arrow & a security arrow; where we go when we’re our messy selves & where we go when we’re our comfortable (sometimes lazy) selves.
In average to heavy stress, 1s go to average-to-unhealthy traits of the Enneagram 4: overemphasizing their feelings’ role in a situation, catastrophizing an event, withdrawn, escaping (in their minds & feelings), melancholic.
In blind-spot security (the lazy, I’ve-always-been-this-way self), 1s go to average-to-unhealthy traits of the Enneagram 7: overindulging in one or more domain in their lives, becoming silly and/or childish, being okay with breaking some rules, especially if they know they can get away with it.
The good news is — These stress & security arrows tell us when we’re not living as our best selves.
In growth, 1s go to average-to-healthy traits of the Enneagram 7: relaxing, finding joy and fun just for the joy and fun of it, being more spontaneous, being okay not being as orderly and rule-oriented as usual.
In integration, 1s go to average-to-healthy traits of the Enneagram 4: owning feelings and uniqueness, understanding that abiding by a strict moral code won’t bring goodness to the soul, offering a more compassionate and sympathetic view of self & humanity.
Strengths: Orderly, organized, high integrity, idealistic in goals (which can keep them moving themselves & their teams forward), setting up structure, teaching.
Struggles: showing compassion, forgetting their inner critic, criticizing others, being judgmental, being too cut-and-dry
The 1 is considered a moral perfectionist & a reformer because of their ability to see how things could be better than they are. Even though they need help forgetting their inner critic so they don’t berate themselves and others, when they can move into teaching and helping mode, their care for making the world a better place is a beautiful, impactful thing.
Does this sound like you? Or does it sound like someone you know?
Get the Typing Guide right here or in the form below. Figuring out your Enneagram number is a great way to start figuring out why you say, do & think the way you do. It’s a great way to learn that you’re not weird, you’re just you. And we need you.
Still looking for more? Shoot me an email & we can talk about coaching!