My second job, which turned into my five-year-get-me-through-college job, was at a large national retailer. It paid well, better than any other job I had applied for, and it was the only one that offered me a job aside from a chocolate retailer. I know, why didn’t I just work for the chocolate retailer? Well I tried. But it turns out the smell of chocolate is nauseating when you’re inundated with it. So, this national retailer it was…

I need you to understand that if I wasn’t with my cousins or my brother, I was a quiet, timid young lady. At this job I had to speak into the phone, which doubled as the speaker that would go over the whole store, when I needed someone’s help with something or if someone other than me needed to pick up a call on lines 1-4.

Full stop: WHAT?! I have to speak into the receiver and then my voice will go over the entire store?

No.

Well, it had to be a yes because I was quiet but I was responsible and did my job. I found out after a couple years that when I started, my voice was so quiet they couldn’t really hear me. Not only did it annoy them but they had no clue how to help me. So if they heard an abstract muffling over the loudspeaker, they’d come to where I was working and see what I needed. Bless them for not telling me how annoying it was at first (I might have died of humiliation; I was 16). But honestly, a few of them weren’t super nice in their help, either. I learned and by the end of my time there I was answering questions left and right and had zero issues with talking over that loudspeaker. And now I have a podcast so clearly I’ve moved past the microphone timidity.

When the pandemic started here in America, there was a lot of talk about how the lockdowns / shelter-in-place / stay-at-home orders were an introvert’s dream. Stay inside? Have an easy out from social gatherings? Sounded perfect for the surface-level knowledge of what an introvert wants and needs.

So we shouted from our living rooms and our keyboards: NOPE. Because we’re trapped in the house with people who don’t stop talking. That’s especially true for me. If you know me and my family in real life, you know that’s true. And you know that I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

What I would trade is this: I would win the space more than I do. I know yesterday I talked about serving others and now I’m saying that I want to win the space, but hear me out.

Think about it: the ones who get your attention are the out-loud ones. The influencers on Instagram with the largest followings - they’re not quiet people. Some of that is their public persona, but mostly we’re drawn to people who are attractive, and what’s attractive in the mainstream out-loud world is exactly that: being OUT LOUD about who you are, what you stand for, who you stand for, etc. etc. etc.

All of that is important. Being the you God created you and asks you to be is important. Knowing what you stand for is important. Knowing who you stand for is important.

But what I’m going to ask you to do today is this: look around your little corner of the world, look around your life. Who are the quiet ones? The ones who might do happy dances in their living room and nobody notices? The ones who might write in their journal more than they reach out in text but connections still matter to them? The ones who are still working up the courage to speak up and to speak out because they’re just not used to asking for attention.

Let me tell you from personal experience: as an introvert, asking for attention in the form of anything (to include the blog you’re reading) feels self-centered. It feels like I’m putting myself in front of my message and I have to work to remember: I am the vessel for my message since words can’t walk and talk on their own. But I need regular reminders of that. Because as an introvert, I don’t often share my message in the same way my extroverted people do. I don’t just walk into a room and start talking (unless I’m parenting or asking my husband to do something). As an introvert, I crave connection. I also crave alone time. I crave good laughs with my people. I also love it quiet. I thrive with some good music on in the background. I also love hiding in the basement with a book or a quiet movie. I love all of those things, even though they seem to be in opposition to one another.

We should not be expected to read each other’s minds and know exactly when an introvert wants to be an introvert and when she wants to be an extrovert; that’s not fair to anyone. What we can do, though, is take a note from Jesus. He paid attention to the set-aside, the ones others didn’t see. (Matthew 9:35-38; Matthew 15; Mark 8:22-25) Not only can we take that note as an example to see the marginalized and tend to them, but we can look for the set-aside in our own homes and social circles, the quiet ones who don’t ask for attention but would love your love.

So today I’m asking you for a favor. Look around, find the introverts in your life, and go encourage them in exactly who they are. Let them know you’d love to hear about their day. Ask them how a specific thing in their life is going. Compliment them on something they put out into the world on their website or on social media.

It’s not that we’re asking for attention, it’s that we hope that what we offer is enough. We hope that what we offer is seen as beautiful and good and beneficial to our people. And we want our extroverts to be quiet sometimes so that we don’t have to work so hard to say the thing or do the thing out loud. Does that make sense?

This is Day 35 and probably one of the deepest thoughts I could offer you since it’s so personal. But Jesus loves me so introverts must be valuable to the world, right?

I’d love to hear from you: are you an introvert or an extrovert? Is it easier for you to be quiet or to speak up? What can you do for the introverts in your life today?

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