Yesterday I reflected on division & Jesus’ adage that a kingdom divided against himself cannot stand and that a house divided against itself cannot stand. Yesterday I reflected more on the meta-cultural division & the listening that heals wounds and build bridges; I focused on the kingdom.

Today, let’s talk about the house.

Trevor Hudson’s Second Sunday of Lent reflection ends with this sentence: “Most of all, we can keep on demonstrating the power that is stronger than evil: the power of self-giving and crucified [sacrificial] love.”

What does that mean in our first mission field: our home? What does self-giving and crucified love mean in our home?

As I sit here in a stream of sunshine pouring through my in-laws’ window, I look at the fire in the middle of the room. Two sources of heat in this room for this sub-freezing day, and I am so grateful. It has been such a cold winter, especially for this southernized heart and body, and I will never turn down a wood-burning fire in the middle of winter nor will I ever turn down sitting in the sunrays. Both sources use their energy to warm me, to make me feel better, to untense my tensed shoulders that I tend to keep from December through March up here in good ole’ NY.

This is my favorite poem. The definitive origin is unknown, but how true it is. I hope to hang this up in my home someday for the reminder of what happens if I can give of myself to the capacity God so asks of me: I can light up my whole family.

In my tired human capacity, it is easy to go through the ticker tape of the Empty Wife & Tired Mama:

Nope.
You can do that yourself; I’m done.
I can’t believe I am picking this up again. This is the last time.
You’re welcome for dinner. (Sarcastically when nobody thanks you)

The feelings that come with those sentiments are absolutely normal. We get tired, we feel unseen, we feel unappreciated, we get agitated, we feel like we’re just done. Nobody’s paying attention anyway, right?

Wrong.

That extra bit of love you pour into your spouse - it matters.
That extra bit of grace you pour over your kid(s) - it matters.
That extra bit of compassion you show your pet when your kid(s) are watching - it matters.
The cooking (or warming up!) you do in your kitchen every night - it matters.
The laundry you fold and put away so that your family can pull out clean clothes each day - it matters.
The containers you rinse out so your spouse can save 5 minutes in making his lunch for tomorrow - it matters.

It all matters. It all gets poured into ground that becomes fertile soil for the kind of families we want to raise. The families that hang out with each other because they want to, not because they have to. The families that spend time with one another out of love, not obligation. The kind that fills the next generation’s home with kindness, grace, love, truth, silliness, and sunshine.

You give and you give and you give, and you feel empty over and over again. I see that. Still, in that self-sacrificial giving and crucified love that asks for nothing back, we are continually filled up, given the energy and the capacity to refill one more spilled milk, to do one more load of laundry, to play one more round of catch.

I believe in self care, in taking breaks, in true Sabbath rest. I believe in asking for help, crying when it’s all too much, and finding a healthy way to vent or deal. Shoot me a message if you can’t find time or space for any of that & I’ll see if we can come up with something.

I also believe what Emily, a guest on That Sounds Fun, said during Enneagram Summer 2019: I believe that the gospel is moved forward through self-sacrificial suffering for other people.

As we raise our families with the gospel as our front-and-center filter, may we ask for the energy and capacity for the self-giving and self-sacrificial love that can light up our home with God’s goodness, His promises, His grace, and most importantly, His love.

Want these Lenten Shorts to your inbox every morning through Easter? Sign up in that purple box or by clicking here.

Want to get a Monday Morning Blessing to start your week? See a sample & sign up for that right here!