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Friendship & Enneagram Pairs

We go together
Like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong

Have you ever tried to actually sing along with those lyrics? Yikes!

Anyway, my point is... you know how some relationships are easier than others?

Why is that?

It’s the difference in how we all express our core motivations. Sometimes, those expressions just don’t jive with one another.
We need to understand what we bring to the table with each Enneagram pair so that we can have the best chance at strong relationships.

Do you have to keep every relationship offered to you? Nope.
Can you set boundaries on relationships that just don’t seem to improve? Absolutely.

But knowing what you each bring to the table in your relationships can be a powerful addition to your life because what you can each do for each other, learn from each other, and teach each other, can make you, your life & your relationships so much better.

For example, a healthy 7 (The Entertaining Optimist who likes to say yes to everything for fear of FOMO) can easily get along with a healthy 1 (the Moral Perfectionist who likes to make sure everything is disciplined & in line) as long the 7 understands that the 1 actually likes to be disciplined, and the 1 understands that the 7's playfulness is a gift rather than a point of immaturity.

The 1 doesn't have to become the Entertaining Optimist.
The 7 doesn't have to become the Moral Perfectionist.

We just have to be okay letting each other be who we are.
Then, once that foundation is established, we learn from each other.

The 7 learns to find joy in the discipline.
The 1 learns to find joy in the play.

We don't have to change or change each other in order to be close friends.
We don't have to compromise our core values in order to have intimate friendships.

We DO have to remember that nobody quite has the same perspective as we do.
We DO have to remember that we're not here to change anybody.
We DO have to remember that learning from each other doesn't make us weak or bad or wrong - it makes us human.

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Challenge: have one of your friends take the Enneagram (test options below) & see how you two fit with your numbers. Chat about your compatibility & see what you can learn from each other!
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((Side note, same as last week: Each of these pairings is based on each side of the relationship being in the average-to-healthy range of their personality type. Significant, unhealthy behavior should not be plainly explained with these descriptions.))
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Right-click to save the image below so you can see the whole chart & see how your pairs fare!


My favorite Enneagram assessments:

FREE Your Enneagram Coach (faith-based)
FREE Truity Enneagram Personality test (not faith-based)

Paid: RHETI Institute

Remember: Assessments are a *component* of figuring out your Enneagram type, but reading type descriptions is really how to nail it down.

Get the Typing Guide right here or in the form below. Figuring out your Enneagram number is a great way to start figuring out why you say, do & think the way you do. It’s a great way to learn that you’re not weird, you’re just you. And we need you.

Still looking for more? Shoot me an email & we can talk about coaching!

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Extra Enneagram goodies every week!

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