Knowing your 7s
Knowing your Enneagram 7
In our Friday Crew, we learned a little something about Enneagram 7s.
The entertaining optimists.
The adventure seekers.
The adrenaline rush lovers.
The fun-loving friend.
The pain-averse.
The boredom-avoidant.
The one who usually has a song & dance in their feet.
The Enneagram 7.
This personality type is driven by seeking fun and adventure, and avoiding pain and boredom.
Sometimes this looks like immaturity, but that really depends on your perspective.
The Enneagram 7 usually has a lot of energy. They love fun, adventure, self-care, and trying new things (as long as it sounds fun!). Whatever makes something FUN is what 7s are game for.
The Enneagram 7 is in the Head Triad.
These folks THINK before they feel or do, and this can be confusing when we think about 7s.
Because of their do-do-do nature in order to stay busy and avoid pain, it looks like they don’t think before they say or do. But they do, they just think very differently.
Why is that?
Core Fear: being trapped in pain or boredom.
Core Desire: To experience happiness, satisfaction, and contentment
Core weakness: gluttony -- "I want it all and then some."
Core longing: "You and your needs will be taken care of."
They are the friends you think of when you want to do something FUN.
They are usually the extroverts who have a hard time not talking.
They’re the optimists that don’t see how something could go wrong.
They’re the hopefuls among us, even when hope seems completely absent.
They’re the ones people gravitate to because they’re usually telling a story, demonstrating something, or they have a really cool job they love talking about.
(Talking is rarely an issue for an Enneagram 7).
All of this can be confusing… they like fun, they avoid pain & boredom, they’re eternal optimists… then how do they mature into the hard-working cynical grown-ups we’re all supposed to be?
First of all, we don’t have to become cynical grown-ups. I made a face breakfast for my daughter with a hard-boiled egg as the nose and blueberries & vitamins for the other features.
Second of all, the behavior of avoiding pain & boredom often looks and sounds like immaturity, and it can be, but it’s not always. It is just the way they’re wired, and we need a personality type wired for fun because there are enough of us who do become cynical grown-ups. We don’t need more of those. We need the ones telling the jokes into their 90s and planning our adventures and laughing until we cry.
This is the personality type most prone to addiction because of their insatiable desire to be filled up, and with unhealthy patterns, toxic relationships, and a lack of a strong community, the 7’s desire for fun can cross some extremely dangerous boundaries. Waaaaay before that line, though, is the friend who just likes to freeeeeeeeeeeee.
Free from pain.
Free from boredom.
Free from obligation.
Free from restlessness & anxiety.
And that looks different for everyone. I have a close 7 who is a pilot; adventure is obvious there. I have a close 7 who is a stay-at-home mom & a nurse who takes 17 vacations a year; not really, but it is a priority for her. I have another close 7 who is a legal assistant and he loves to skateboard, meet new people, and scroll TikTok for videos that make him happy-cry.
Every Enneagram type has two wings, which are the adjacent numbers. For the 7, that’s the 7 and the 8.
Wings act like personality crutches; when we’re leaning out of our dominant type, we lean into one of two wings - usually one more strongly than the other, but once in a great while we have a steady equilibrium of leaning on both wings an equal amount. They add to the flavor of our personality, like salt & pepper or sugar & spice, depending on how we use it.
7w6 - 7 with a 6 wing - is nicknamed The Entertainer. This friend is the committed one who loves to have fun. Usually warm, joyful, creative, and silly.
7w8 - 7 with an 8 wing - is nicknamed The Realist. The energies of the 7 and 8 collide here and it can be pretty intense, but also really productive and inspiring with how confident this combo can be.
Side bar: The difference between a 7w6 and a 6w7 is the dominant type, because the dominant type determines the main motivation. The 7w6 predominantly pursues contentment; the 6w7 predominantly pursues safety. So having the same #s in a wing combo (1w2 & 2w1 or 3w2 & 2w3, and so on), does not mean the personalities are expressed in the same way.
Every Enneagram type has a stress arrow & a security arrow; where we go when we’re our messy selves & where we go when we’re our comfortable (sometimes lazy) selves.
In average to heavy stress, 7s go to average-to-unhealthy traits of the Enneagram 1: .a harsh bend toward criticism and judgment, needing things in order yesterday, being excessively harsh on themselves and others.
In blind-spot security (the lazy, I’ve-always-been-this-way self), 7s go to average-to-unhealthy traits of the Enneagram 5: withdraw, disconnect, obsessive about gaining more knowledge, becoming fixated.
The good news is — These stress & security arrows tell us when we’re not living as our best selves.
In growth, 7s go to average-to-healthy traits of the Enneagram 5: more mindful and thoughtful in making decisions, more cautious in jumping into the unknown, more willing to take their time.
In integration, 7s go to average-to-healthy traits of the Enneagram 1: more organized, more willing to critique something (not criticize). Confident in what they know but willing to teach instead of lambaste the knowledge/expertise.
Strengths: fun-loving, energetic, authentic, light, easy going, creative, lightening the mood.
Struggles: settling down, listening for too long, sticking with the hard stuff long enough to see it through.
The 7 is the giver of the laugh we all need. They keep it all from getting too heavy. We just want to make sure 7s know we’re there to make them laugh, too.
Does this sound like you? Or does it sound like someone you know?
Get the Typing Guide right here or in the form below. Figuring out your Enneagram number is a great way to start figuring out why you say, do & think the way you do. It’s a great way to learn that you’re not weird, you’re just you. And we need you.
Still looking for more? Shoot me an email & we can talk about coaching!